Tired of the humiliating ordeal of having strangers coo over your adorable baby, just to have them ask “Boy or Girl”? That pink onesie and princess stroller not screaming sufficient second-sex?
Must the little ladies of the 0-2 set miss out on 24 solid months of being as ATTRACTIVE AS POSSIBLE? Not any more — not with BABY WIGS.
Baby wigs are made from the tails of unicorns and lined with pixie leather. Just consult the website: Their unique designs are sprinkled with MAGIC! Get a jump on that Princess phase, lord knows you will never get sick of it.
Shouldn’t you be doing all you can to improve little Madison’s chances of being Top Girl at daycare? Getting a jump on the hair competition will give her advantages in all other Girl pursuits. She’ll be in earrings by 4, lipstick by 6, and belittling her fellow female classmates in a desperate struggle for social standing by 7.
Everyone knows girlhood is just one big pageant, kids, and with the right baby wig, your progeny will be the winner! Don’t hesitate: It’s never too early to teach your daughter that she must change her physical appearance to fit in.